This morning, in my usual A.M. haze, I sat down with a cup of coffee and decided to tend to the growing stack of unread New Yorkers that I’ve been using as a door stop. And lo and behold… What do I find in the venerable magazine’s pages? A long-winded Talk of the Town report about the hijinks of white people renaming their condo buildings? Yes. An incisive anthropological report by Jared Diamond on vengeance? Yes. An absolutely hilarious Mastercard advert featuring a contest in which the winner can have their portrait painted by pajama’d ’80s artiste and film director Julian Schnabel? Yes yes yes yes…yes!
According to the fine print, the winner is entitled to a:
4-day trip for (2) to New York before 10/13/08 for Julian Schnabel (“Artist”) (30) minute consultation regarding commissioned Portrait by Artist (framed, original oil on canvas Portrait developed per consultation & delivered to winner on or about: 12/31/08) & $175,000 check for tax burden offset (Prize ARV=$530,000/Estimated Odds 1: 3,588,229).
Thirty minutes? That’s all the winner gets? Julian Schnabel paints your portrait after a “(30) minute consultation” – and that’s worth $530,000? C’mon, people. If it’s valued at a cool half mil, it should at least include dinner with “Artist” at Mr. Chow or the opportunity to party with “Artist” at Cannes. Though, I have to say, if he does as much cosmetic editing on the winner’s portrait as he did on his own (here‘s what he really looks like), it might not be such a bad deal.
Get the money shots after the jump.
El Schnabel is looking muy macho in his portrait here: complete with toreador stance, cheekbones, classical profile and bear-like chest. Strangely enough, it bears an uncanny resemblance to another well-known portrait, which also has an art industry-meets-Hollywood connection:
Posted by C-Monster.