Monthly Archive for December, 2008

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The Andy Warhol Banana Split Bowl. Or why I love art merch.


I’ll have mine with warm butterscotch and extra maraschino cherries, please. (Photo by C-M.)

I love art merch. Seriously, I can’t get enough of it. At any museum, in addition to exploring the art, I always allot enough time to make a  thorough inspection of the gift store. It’s all part of the bigger picture, really. If art in our culture is often reduced to the vacuous acquisition of shining objects, then the gift shops embody this sentiment on a grand, populist scale. And like Black Friday at Macy’s, it’s often a free-for-all.

So, just in time for the holiday shopping season, I’ve outlined the three reasons why art merch deserves our utmost veneration:

  1. Gift store inventory reveals more about a museum than any art hung in the galleries. A museum shop full of nothing but incomprehensible exhibit catalogues tells me, “We’re a serious, academic place, where all water cooler conversation takes place in German.” (Case in point: the Mies Van der Rohe pavilion in Barcelona.) But, if I see erasers, scarves, jewelry, coffee mugs and key chains, I know that this is an institution with an ample marketing department that is determined to appeal to a very wide audience — and vacuum their wallets in the process. (Hello, Metropolitan Museum of Art.) 
  2. Art merch can be sublimely absurd. Not just the physical objects — such as this Andy Warhol banana split bowl ($14.95 at the Whitney) — but the process that went into creating them. At some point, a bunch of people got together, in a conference room, and had a meeting about this. They asked themselves, “What can we do with this priceless screen print of a banana?” And they decided that it wouldn’t work as cuff links or a stationery set, but it’d be just perfect as a receptacle for ice cream and nuts. Then, someone said, “We can include a matching spoon.” And everyone around the table replied, “Ooooh, of course, the matching spoon!” All so a tourist on winter break in New York could go, “Check it out, Marge… It’s a Warhol banana split holder with a matching spoon…” It’s like a giant conceptual art piece. Created by some licensing company in Beijing.
  3. The merch is often more fascinating than the art itself. I’m not talking about Impressionist notepads and Frank Lloyd Wright-inspired key chains. Those are done. I’m talking about stuff that is tasteless with a high degree of planning and premeditation: shorts with David‘s dong, Guernica coffee mugs and Frida Kahlo socks. It takes imagination to say, “Hey, let’s get Schnabel to put one of his doodles on a beach towel!” Or, “What if Barry McGee did sunglasses?” Or, better yet, “Let’s put Boticelli’s Venus on a couch.” Not to mention that this stuff is all highly utilitarian. I can sit on it, wear it, and use it to dry my damp derriere on the beach. And that, my friends, is an art. Even if it never takes place in a gallery.

The Digest. 12.17.08.


Grasp. (Photo by Moshiano.)

Calendar. 12.16.08.

Romanticism, by Chor Boogie. (Image courtesy of Chor Boogie.)

The Digest. 12.16.08.


Golden Showers, Met Museum-style: Venus and Cupid, by Lorenzo Lotto, late 1520s. Part of the exhibit, Art and Love in Renaissance Italy, up through Feb. 16. (Surreptitious camphone picture by C-M.)

Bizarre Coincidence: Hole-in-the-floor edition.


Such a ‘k Hole: Urs Fischer’s You, 2007 at Gavin Brown’s Enterprise. (Image courtesy of Gavin Brown.)

In New York Magazine‘s end-of-the-year wrap-up-of-everything-in-the-NYC-universe issue, critic Jerry Saltz wrote that seeing Urs Fischer’s giant hole-in-the-ground at Gavin Brown’s Enterprise in Chelsea was “transforming and shocking.” He added:

Fischer had torn up a gallery, forcing us to look into his own “hole.” But presciently, it was just as much a precipice for us and for the art world, since this was going to be the state of the world for the year to come: We’d all be poised on the edge — politically, psychically, financially, and aesthetically. The stark gesture was simultaneously surreal, loving, violent, and audacious. Fischer shattered perceptual space, destabilized our relationship to art and art galleries, overturned ideas about the market, and made us understand that all that is solid melts into air, that something momentous was coming.

Last fall, in his original review of the piece, Saltz described it as “Herculean,” “splendid” and “brimming with meaning and mojo.” He added that this “bold act” would make the viewer “look at galleries in a new way.”

I gotta be honest: I wasn’t convinced then, and I’m not convinced now. But one thing’s for sure: Fischer’s hole felt a lot less prescient when I discovered that it has a predecessor. Last month, when I rolled up to L.A.’s Museum of Contemporary Art, I got to ogle a 2008 redo of Chris Burden’s 1986 installation, Exposing the Foundation of the Museum, a series of three holes in the museum floor that the MOCA lit describes as “a critical response to the institution of art itself.” Looks like Fischer was out-holed. By some dude in L.A. — 22 years ago.


Exposing the Foundation of the Museum, 1986/2008, by Chris Burden, at MOCA, as part of the Geffen Contemporary’s Index: Conceptualism in California from the Permanent Collection. Today’s the last day to see this piece, by the way, so get over there! (Image courtesy of MOCA.)

C-Mon Holiday Giveaway! Whitney Museum edition.


Nothing says “Christmas” like a little brutalism. (Photo by C-M.)

You’ve got the candy canes, the tinsel and the popcorn balls. But do you have a glass replica ornament of the Whitney Museum’s Marcel Breuer-designed building covered in glitter? We think not. Thankfully, the marketing department here at C-Monster.net has arranged to give away this fine piece of holiday merchandise to a very lucky reader. Leave a comment below (with a valid e-mail) to enter the drawing. And before you know it, you could be trimming the tree, imbibing wassail and talking trash about the Biennial — all while admiring Breuer’s glistening bunker.

No New Yorkers are allowed to enter this contest. (If you want a Whitney ornament so damn bad, go to the museum. They’re only three bucks.)

The Digest. 12.15.08.


South by Rail, by Andrew Pope. See the full series on his website, primitivenerd.com. (Image courtesy of Andrew Pope.)

The shoe toss: Would make an excellent video game.

Barry Hoggard said it all:

“Bush does have good reflexes. All of that gym time rather than thinking or reading has paid off.”

Update: View the mash-ups here. (Via schmelzenfreude’s Twitter.)

Art Merch: Graffiti chocolate + Toofly bags.


From the Department of What-Will-They-Think-of-Next? Chocolate bars with wrappers by the likes of Crash, Blade, Pink and Dondi. (All mages courtesy of the Bronx Museum.)

What do you get for the graff head who has everything? Graffiti chocolates. Courtesy of the gift shop at the Bronx Museum, which is selling a set of 10 — in flavors like Dark Rum, Caramel and S’mores — for $35. (Ten percent off if you go on Saturday, Dec. 13.) There’s also a Toofly cosmetic bag for $25 (pictured below), in the event that you want to make that special someone feel a little pretty. Now, if only someone would design a graffiti bathrobe, my life would be complete.

Kork: The day in awesome press releases.


Elia Gurna exhibiting at Kork, the 864 square-inch art space in Poughkeepsie, N.Y. (Image courtesy of Kork.)

We get a lot of press releases here at C-Monster.net. About gallery shows, museum exhibits, artist books, artist sunglasses, artist shower curtains, and penis enhancement. Most of them are blowhardy snooze-fests (except for the ones about the penises). But every once in a while we get a missive that just warms the cockles of our icy, art-industry hearts. Waiting for us in our inbox last week was a dispatch from Kork, a new 864 square-inch art space in downtown Poughkeepsie, New York.

Located in the offices of Bailey Browne CPA & Associates, just above the communal copier, Kork is a bulletin board-sized space with a bi-monthly rotating slate of exhibits which anyone is welcome to ogle, provided they do it during regular office hours. (Tax season is just around the corner so this could be a twofer.) Kork director Christopher Albert described the project to me as “a very small banal art destination. Like the Lightning Field, but much tinier.”

Herewith, a sample of the press release:

Kork, Poughkeepsie’s newest and most exciting project art space is pleased to announce that Elia Gurna’s work Beautiful Dreamer will be on exhibit through the end of December 2008. Kork is 864 square inches of exhibition space on a bulletin board located above the photocopier in the office of Bailey Browne CPA & Associates. Kork is a venue which encourages artists to explore concepts relating to the nature of work, the role of art in a non art context, issues of memory and attention, communication, utility as decor, the decor of utility, the utility of futility and Lord knows what else — all within the footprint of a standard cork bulletin board.  In two month rotations, artists are invited to respond to the bulletin board space and its context within the office environment.

What more do you need? If we lived in Poughkeepsie, we’d be hightailing it over there this very second.