Archive for the 'Food' Category

Admiring museum-quality pizza at MoMA.

Published by c-monster on January 6, 2010 in Assemblage, C-Monster, Conceptual, Conservation, Food, Museums and New York.


Extra olives with a light dusting of acetone, please: Gabriel Orozco’s pizza crust, part of Working Tables, 2000-2005. See the piece in context here. (Photo courtesy of MoMA.)

If there is something that absolutely inspires the art nerd in me, it’s the totally whacked out materials used by some artists. Blood. PeaRoeFoam. A stuffed angora goat. Which is why I was quite excited to find a pizza crust in the Gabriel Orozco retrospective when I visited MoMA last week. The above crust, part of the piece Working Tables, resides in the museum’s stately permanent collection. (It is very important crust.) Which got me wondering: what exactly does a museum do with crust? Is it Orozco’s original crust? Or is it replaced regularly with fresh crust? And what about crust munchers like roaches and mice?

For answers to these burning questions, we turned to MoMA’s associate sculpture conservator Roger Griffith, who has worked in the museum’s conservation lab for more than a decade. Griffith, it turns out, has some experience dealing with art objects made of food. Among them, Janine Antoni’s Gnaw , an installation that consists of 600 lbs. each of chocolate and lard that has been gnawed by the artist. (No doubt a joy to maintain). He was also the man in charge of caring for a small block of artist-made cheese fabricated from human breast milk at a temporary MoMA exhibit several years ago. (”My job was to make sure it didn’t mold,” says Griffith. “I would just take it out of the fridge, pat it down, salt it and put it back.”) He was kind enough to give us the lowdown on pizza à la Orozco:

  • The Crust is O.G.: This is Orozco’s original crust which has been with the museum since MoMA acquired it in 2005 from the Marian Goodman Gallery.
  • It’s Part Plastic: Part of the reason this crust (which is at least five years old) still looks good — and hasn’t been attacked by critters — is because it was treated by the museum’s staff upon  arrival. When MoMA acquired Working Tables, the crust was a normal, everyday crust. But once it entered the museum’s conservation lab, it was bathed in acetone (”to remove the fatty acids, the parts that cause degradation,” explains Griffith) and then soaked in a solution of acrylic known as B-72. The acetone dissolves the fat; the acrylic replaces it. To keep it looking natural (acrylic has a tendency to shine), the conservation department spritzed it with an acetone mist to eliminate unnatural sheen. Voilà! Plasticized pizza dough that looks totally real, yet barely ages. (Like some Upper East Side ladies I know…)
  • It’s Stored in Highly Secure Packaging: When the crust isn’t on display, it’s put away in marva-seal, which according to this website, is the same packaging that the U.S. military uses to wrap its MREs (or Meals Ready to Eat). Which strikes me as incredibly handy, because if all hells break loose, we can always drop Orozco’s crust somewhere over Afghanistan — solving all manner of foreign policy woes.
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What I’m Reading. Plus: Cheese Giveaway Extravaganza!

Published by SanSuzie on October 5, 2009 in Books, Food and San Suzie.


Nubian goat Lizzie (or Nisa or Penny…). After you finish Goat Song you’ll feel like you have a whole herd of goat pals. (Photo by Dona Ann McAdams.)

I just finished devouring Brad Kessler’s Goat Song: A Seasonal Life, A short history of herding, and the Art of Making Cheese. No pun intended, folks. Reading Kessler’s memoir of what it’s like to leave the New York art and literary world to make goat cheese in Vermont — with his photographer wife Dona Ann McAdams — is about as mouth-watering a reading experience as I can remember. Written in lush but straightforward prose, with beautiful photos by McAdams (the one-time chronicler of the downtown performance art scene), Goat Song made me want to run out and buy a little Nubian doe and start milking. The book is a surprising mother lode of information about art and culture. (Did you know that both the devil’s horns and cloven hooves and the shape of letters in the alphabet all owe their origins to herding?) It’s also a page turner, with hair-raising chapters about staving off coyote attacks and hilarious passages about goat sex. (”It’s like a frat house,” writes Kessler, of a male goat’s post-coital preening around his fellow bucks.)

And because when you finish reading Goat Song, the first question is, naturally, “Where’s the cheese?”  — as in where can I taste Kessler’s home-aged tomme? — C-Monster.net is proudly offering a cheese giveaway courtesy of  New York City’s Les Enfants Terribles, the only restaurant in the city that serves it. Tell us why you “cut the cheese” in the comments below and the Canal Street bar-restaurant will send you a coupon for a free fromage sample.

In the meantime, be sure to pick up a copy of Kessler’s book. You can find it right here.

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The Digest. 08.12.09.

Published by c-monster on August 12, 2009 in C-Monster, Food, Photography and The Digest.


Cotton Candy Ice Creams. (Photo by the always amazing Agent Lover.)

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Juicy: Conceptual burgers at Laundromat in Brooklyn.

Published by c-monster on August 10, 2009 in Art for stoners, C-Monster, Food, Galleries, New York, Sculpture and Sublime ridiculosity.


Two Spanish Masterpieces, coming right up. (Photos by C-M.)

If Velázquez were a burger, what would he be? According to Brooklyn artist Joe Protheroe, he’d be a mound of minced beef and lamb, seasoned with cumin, olive oil, garlic and cilantro, and he’d be topped with chopped tomatoes, shaved shallots and a “fierce” Valdeón blue cheese. Protheroe’s burger, The Spanish Masterpiece (which also paid tribute to Goya, Dalí and Picasso), was one of various conceptual art burgers served up this past weekend at the Laundromat Gallery in Brooklyn, where local artists showed off their mad grillin’ skillz at The Burger Group Show.

There were burgers inspired by  Robert Smithson, Robert Motherwell, Rachel Harrison and Jeff Koons (The Cheesy Koons). There was even a Bernini Burger:

a beef patty, fleshy and rounded, surmounted by flowing draperies of prosciutto, a cloud of goat cheese, and a splash of the finest extra virgin olive oil. St. Teresa herself never felt such an ecstasy as this burger will provide.

Unfortunately, it was not for sale. I did however, sink my teeth into both the Spanish Masterpiece and the Robert Smithson — both of which were delicious, though I have to give top honors to the Masterpiece for its finely rendered condiments. There were a couple of art burgers I was bummed not to see, however: the Claes Olden-burger (seriously) and the Andy Warhol Burger. The latter would have been less artisanal and more multi-media. You show up with a sack of fast food burgers and you film people eating them. Even so, the Burger Group Show was an all around tasty good time — to the point that I hope this becomes an annual event.

Click on images to supersize. Continue reading ‘Juicy: Conceptual burgers at Laundromat in Brooklyn.’

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Final Peru Dispatch: My Lima food orgy.

Published by c-monster on June 19, 2009 in C-Monster, Food, Peru and Travel.


Classic ceviche, made with flounder, red onions and hot peppers and served with sweet potato and Andean corn at El Veredico de Fidel, in La Victoria. (Photos by C-M.)

Now it’s time to get down to the nitty gritty: The food. Lima, hands down, serves up the best food in the Americas. I’m not even gonna debate it. I’ve been to Mexico and eaten the seven moles of Oaxaca and sucked down tacos as if the world were about to end. I’ve worked my way through menus at all kinds of places, both high-falutin’ and not, in spots such as New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and Miami. But, Peru, at every level — from the corner lunch joint to the A-List world-class eatery — offers such a mind-melting variety of spectacular dishes, that you could literally spend a month in the country and still not begin to cover everything there is to eat. Not convinced? Well, I’ve prepared a little photo essay…

Special thanks to my buddy Howard for flying to Lima to consume many of these dishes with me. And to Arturo Rojas for leading me to some of these spots in the first place. You guys rock. Hard.

Click on images to supersize. C-Monster.net is not responsible for any damages incurred to your keyboard as a result of involuntary drooling. Vegetarians: You might want to stop reading here.

Continue reading ‘Final Peru Dispatch: My Lima food orgy.’

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C-Mon Giveaway Extravaganza: Indianapolis Museum of Art edition.

Published by c-monster on March 18, 2009 in C-Monster, Food and Giveaway.


Wholesome goodness. Except for the Twinkie. (Photo by C-M.)

The kind folks over at the Indianapolis Museum of Art were kind enough to send me a little gift pack for giveaway purposes, which includes an all-cotton Indy Museum T-Shirt (size L), a Rubik’s cube (special easy-to-solve version, courtesy of the IMA blog), as well as three super-cool mini-books — including one by David Hockney on Picasso (added to the package by my Twitter bud Richard McCoy). The package also comes with an invite to Artbabble.org, the museum’s new site dedicated to video content about art. (Right now it’s in the beta stage, so the only way to see it is to get an invite…)

Special bonus prize: Because this package was getting a little too wholesome and informative in its content, I’ve added a Twinkie, in honor of Pace Wildenstein’s Twinkie plate at the Armory Show, to the mix. It’s slightly deformed from having been carried around in my purse for a few days, but I can promise you that its taste, texture and chemical composition remain the same as always.

Leave a comment below to register for the drawing and this sensational package could be yours to keep!

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The Best Dive Bars for Armory-palooza in NYC.

Published by c-monster on March 3, 2009 in Armory-palooza, Food, New York and Travel.


Need to get your drink on after pondering the state of the art market? Boy, do we have the places for you. (Photos by C-M.) 

Everyday, it seems that the economy sucks harder. Which means that an awful lot of gallerists and artists are gonna be white-knuckling it through New York’s Armory Week as they try to move merch at a time when few people are busting open their wallets. This is where C-Monster.net comes in. All of us, at some point this week, are gonna need a good stiff drink. Or seven. Either because we’re not making any money. Or because art fairs make us want to shove sticks in our eyes. So, in honor of Armory-palooza, I have rounded up the best spots for grabbing a snort — all in relatively close proximity to the fairs. I’ve even created a handy Google map that you can print and take with you. Cheers! And pray for a miracle.

NEAR THE ARMORY SHOW AND SCOPE: J. Mac’s. 600 W. 57th Street, west of 11th Ave. This eight year old spot is popular with the neighborhood auto mechanics, as well as the artists from the nearby chashama studios. It’s all bottles, no draft. But there’s a vintage cigarette machine that dispenses Marlboros, Newports and Parliaments and a pool table where a game costs a buck. The best part? The following advice, which is prominently displayed on the wall: “All you need in this life is a tremendous sex drive and a great eye. Brains don’t mean shit.” We’ll drink to that.

Click on images to supersize.

Continue reading ‘The Best Dive Bars for Armory-palooza in NYC.’

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The Delta Airlines $7 mojito: Syrupy, with notes of pectin.

Published by c-monster on February 25, 2009 in C-Monster, Food and Travel.


My mojito tribute to William Eggleston, aboard Delta Flight #38. (Photo by C-M.)

When Delta Airlines isn’t losing your luggage, cleaning out your wallet on additional “fees” or forcing you to fight your way through the Hooverville ambiance of their check-in counter at JFK, they’re undertaking an ongoing effort “to create a uniquely sophisticated, stylish and entertaining experience for customers.” (At least, that’s what the press release says.) Hence their two-year partnership with Skybar impresario Rande Gerber, a.k.a. second husband of Cindy Crawford, on a line of signature cocktails. Above, one of said drinks: the $7 mojito I imbibed en route from Fort Lauderdale to Atlanta.

What’s the thing taste like? Think syrupy sweetness accented by a dash of toothpaste mintiness, landing this concoction somewhere on the flavor continuum between cough syrup and Caribbean cocktail. It didn’t taste particularly “sophisticated” or “stylish,” as the PR department pledged. But I can promise that a coupla of these babies will help dull the anguish of having to fly what has to be the country’s worst legacy carrier.

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The Art of the Porno Burrito.

Published by c-monster on January 5, 2009 in C-Monster, Food, Los Angeles and Sculpture.


Do you smell what the Monster is cooking? That’s 13 inches of straight up burro con carne asada. (Photos by C-M.)

Last year, my L.A. homegirl Vidalia introduced me to the grotesque spectacularness of the Porno Burrito, El Atacor’s legendary mac daddy burro, a sculptural assemblage of beans, rice, meat, guacamole and pico de gallo that weighs as much as a small dog. Vidalia and I had taken on the burrito in the past. But last night we did it again. And because we had one too many drinks in us, we decided to order two. We only made it through one, even though we split it three ways with Celso. But because I hate to waste a good Porno, today, Celso and I devoured the second (after taking lots of pictures).

How do we feel after inhaling this monster? Something along the lines of this.

Click on images to supersize. Many more after the jump.

Continue reading ‘The Art of the Porno Burrito.’

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Art Merch: Graffiti chocolate + Toofly bags.

Published by c-monster on December 12, 2008 in Art Merch, C-Monster, Food and Graffiti.


From the Department of What-Will-They-Think-of-Next? Chocolate bars with wrappers by the likes of Crash, Blade, Pink and Dondi. (All mages courtesy of the Bronx Museum.)

What do you get for the graff head who has everything? Graffiti chocolates. Courtesy of the gift shop at the Bronx Museum, which is selling a set of 10 — in flavors like Dark Rum, Caramel and S’mores — for $35. (Ten percent off if you go on Saturday, Dec. 13.) There’s also a Toofly cosmetic bag for $25 (pictured below), in the event that you want to make that special someone feel a little pretty. Now, if only someone would design a graffiti bathrobe, my life would be complete.

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