San Simón, a Guatemalan folk saint, apparently of Maya origin, who is appeased with food, cane alcohol, cigars or cigarettes. He is generally depicted holding a bag of coins and, according to some cursory internet research, is not only the patron saint of drinkers, but can bless gamblers with good luck. What sold me, however, were his dapper duds and the plate of taquitos at his feet.

“Put Yayoi Kusama on the line. I think someone is trying to bite her dots thing.”

STEP ONE: Acquire Angry Bird piñata.

STEP TWO: Rest on top of performer. As the performer breathes, the Angry Bird is gently raised and lowered — a meditation on awareness and mortality.

IF DESIRED, CONTINUE TO STEP THREE: Place Angry Bird head on a Lazy Susan. Inspire grotesque discomfort in your dinner guests by forcing them to confront the probing stare of another as they sip cocktails and dine on tuna tartar.

Thank you, Brian Braiker.

The Jaguar’s Temple Club. (Photo by C-M.)