How to Jackson Pollock your bedroom while listening to metal.

Glitter poufs. That is all.

Should you sell your art on e-Bay? Or should you listen to that Pink Floyd album one more time?

This is the first post in what will hopefully be a long-running series called “Artist’s Choice.” In which a guest “curator” is invited to share their favorite bizarre/weird/hilarious/absurd YouTube videos. Kicking off the first round is painter Franck de Las Mercedes, who comes through (with flying colors), with a selection of YouTube instructional videos devoted entirely to art.

Thank you, Franck! Now I know what to do with those tired bedrooms walls…

Rolling Rock: Michael Heizer’s muted granite presence drew an estimated 20,000 people while it was parked in Long Beach on Wednesday. Incidentally, I recently learned that the rock is swaddled in high thread-count cotton linens. Fancy! (Photos by C-M.)

San Simón, a Guatemalan folk saint, apparently of Maya origin, who is appeased with food, cane alcohol, cigars or cigarettes. He is generally depicted holding a bag of coins and, according to some cursory internet research, is not only the patron saint of drinkers, but can bless gamblers with good luck. What sold me, however, were his dapper duds and the plate of taquitos at his feet.

“Put Yayoi Kusama on the line. I think someone is trying to bite her dots thing.”

STEP ONE: Acquire Angry Bird piñata.

STEP TWO: Rest on top of performer. As the performer breathes, the Angry Bird is gently raised and lowered — a meditation on awareness and mortality.

IF DESIRED, CONTINUE TO STEP THREE: Place Angry Bird head on a Lazy Susan. Inspire grotesque discomfort in your dinner guests by forcing them to confront the probing stare of another as they sip cocktails and dine on tuna tartar.