I recently spent a week in Italy with San Suzie, pillaging the local gelaterias and skulking around the American Academy in Rome. (More on that later.) But if there was one thing I was absolutely determined to do while I was there, it was pick up a pair of the above shorts, which feature the full monty belonging to none other than Michelangelo’s David. (San Suzie did a story on ‘em back in September.)
Now, lucky readers, these sausagerrific 100% polyester shorts could be hugging your privates. Leave a comment below, and before you know it, you’ll be impressing the world with your perfectly chiseled dong and rock-hard derriere.
Winner takes the shorts, but not the man inside. He’s mine — all mine.

