Tagged: Michelangelo

C-Mon Giveaway Extravaganza: Michelangelo Edition.

Oh, baby.

I recently spent a week in Italy with San Suzie, pillaging the local gelaterias and skulking around the American Academy in Rome. (More on that later.) But if there was one thing I was absolutely determined to do while I was there, it was pick up a pair of the above shorts, which feature the full monty belonging to none other than Michelangelo’s David. (San Suzie did a story on ‘em back in September.)

Now, lucky readers, these sausagerrific 100% polyester shorts could be hugging your privates. Leave a comment below, and before you know it, you’ll be impressing the world with your perfectly chiseled dong and rock-hard derriere.

Winner takes the shorts, but not the man inside. He’s mine — all mine.

Art Merch: David’s Pee Pee Edition.

David's Pee Pee
But what does the backside look like? (Photo by San Suzie.)

Just off the Piazza Venezia, where the biggest, blingiest monument in all of Italy — the memorial to Vittorio Emanuele II, the first king of unified Italy — looms over a traffic circle that puts any L.A. freeway to shame, I was halted in my tracks by this admirable piece of local art merch: men’s boxer shorts featuring the salsiccia belonging to none other than Michelangelo’s David. There is a raging debate among local art historians as to whether this fine dong truly belongs to David or is simply a knockoff from some other statue. (I’ll be investigating as soon as I get to Florence.) In the meantime, we report, you decide.